Words I woke up to


“A deeper sorrow brings a deeper repentance.”

The lord has spoken the word “deeper” to me often. I wake to words sometimes or hear them in prayer. This morning right as I woke, I heard this; “ A deeper sorrow brings a deeper repentance”. I lay there trying to stay awake, repeating it over and over until I got up to write it down.Another time I heard the words, “the more deeply you are lost, the more deeply you will be found”. A few years ago I heard, “The deeper the healing, the deeper the revealing”.
I think God wants to share with me the deeper parts of himself. He knows I will seek. He delights in my seeking. He delights in revealing himself to me.
What does “deeply” mean to God? I ponder again the words I’ve received, trying to avoid the surface level meaning, to get below it.

“A deeper sorrow brings a deeper repentance.” If you are deeply sorrowful in your soul over something you’ve done or said that hurt another person as well as yourself, that deep sorrow takes you right to the heart of God. That sorrow is from God. It takes you down to your knees. It’s there that we repent deeply to God and thus to whoever we hurt with humility. The word “sorry” comes from sorrow! But if we have built walls around ourselves from past trauma and pain, that deep sorrow can’t get into our heart. The sorrow That brings us to our knees, and leads us to repent. When we try to protect ourselves from pain, we can’t release it, and only hold onto it. We miss Gods healing. We don’t even realize how much pain we are actually in. We become numb to feeling anything. That’s where I was. I was deeply lost. Oh, what about sorrow for Jesus on that cross, what he endured for us all to be saved. To come to him we are filled with the sorrow of our own sin, repent and are saved.

“The more deeply you are lost, the more deeply you will be found.” Wow, I have been deeply lost. So lost I did not know I was lost, and lost to everyone around me, even myself. That’s where Jesus found me and called to me. I reached out to him in my pain and tears just a week before he came to me in a dream, he called without words, just his eyes. I was running lost in a forest, and there he was in the middle of a forest in a deep pit of mud. He was covered with scratches and wounds and a crown of thorns. He was soothing his wounds with the mud, never taking his eyes off me. They were piercing, they spoke “everything” saying nothing. I fell to my knees at the edge of the mud crying out to him to please come live in my heart. He spoke to the deepest part of my soul. He found me deeply. Not only did he find me, but he wanted me to follow him. But in order to follow him, I had to surrender deeply. There’s that word again. Deep surrender, sharing all the darkest parts of myself with God. He already knows, he just wants me to tell him and give it all to him. He wanted my permission to knock down the walls I created so there would be room for him.

“The deeper the healing, the deeper the revealing.”As I was writing the paragraphs above I decided to search my notes for the word deeper to see what I’ve written. I found this! Yet another mystery revealed to me by God to seek and search out. Here is what I wrote in 2019. “The deeper the healing, the deeper the revealing.”The more you ask God to heal your deepest wounds, the deeper he will reveal himself to you.If you want to know God more deeply, you have to make yourself vulnerable to him. He already knows your wounds, you can’t hide from him, he’s just waiting for you to ask. 2019

I also found this in my notes. I am not sure if I wrote. Either way, it spoke to me!
“Deepening destruction often comes before deepening joy”Wow this is so true. Sometimes it hurts when God is pruning us. I often ask him to uproot anything in my heart that is not of him. He answers every time I ask. Even rose bushes need to be pruned so the best roses have a chance to be even more beautiful. Everything God does is for our good, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time.

God never ceases to amaze me! This morning the Lord pulled me in to seek the meaning of the words I awoke to. But in that process of my seeking he went “deeper” ha! He revealed that he’s been giving me these mystery phrases all along! For years! There’s an even deeper layer to his mystery. I must keep seeking! Erika Masterson 5/2022

1 Corinthians 2:10 For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God.
Job 38:16-17“ Have you entered into the springs of the seaOr walked in the recesses of the deep?“Have the gates of death been revealed to you,Or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?”

Daniel 2:22“ It is He who reveals the profound and hidden things;He knows what is in the darkness,And the light dwells with Him.2 Corinthians 7:10 For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit
Psalm 13:2-3 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death
Psalm 126:5 Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy

Hebrews 5:7 In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence
Psalm 34:17 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. Ask, and the gift is yours. Seek, and you’ll discover. Knock, and the door will be opened for you. For every persistent one will get what he asks for. Every persistent seeker will discover what he longs for. And everyone who knocks persistently will one day find an open door. Matthew 7:7-8 TPT

Erika Masterson
June 21, 2022

Erika Masterson is a Fine Art Photographer, living her dream between two worlds, a lakeside cabin tucked in the Southern Appalachian mountains and a quiet beach town on Florida’s east coast.Erika and her husband Ed have 4 children and one granddaughter. Her children are often seen in her artistic works.

She received her degree in photography from the Southeastern Center for Photographic Studies in Daytona Beach, Florida in 1990. In 1999 opened her own commercial portrait business and has been working the past 20+ years in California and Florida.

In 2012 Erika expanded her Art including many exhibits and awards. Her most recent accolades; Solo Exhibition Soho Gallery New York; the Co-Jurors Choice award by Joyce Tenneson under the theme “The Intimate Portrait”; She was chosen as a Julia Margaret Cameron finalist for her series “A Message for my Daughter” and was selected as Black and White Magazine’s Portfolio Spotlight winner for her series Sara’s Sojourn.

Her quiet and soulful images have been published in numerous magazines such as Black and White Magazine 2014 & 2017, Victoria Magazine 2000 & 2016, Silvershotz Magazine, Shots Magazine, 5×5 Magazine, Bella Grace Magazine, Raine, Shadow & Light and In-Style Magazine. Erika recently has her images being sold around the world and on greeting cards with Palm Press and book covers. She has also self-published 4 books with her series of work.